Girl Gone Wild: “My life was full of materialistic objects, but I was empty inside”


I have passed this stop almost a hundred times. It is the same as any other stop sign in Ireland. They are all identical in shape, size and color. But this one, like the walking trail to Glenmalure Lodge in Co Wicklow, is different. My good friend Madeline just ran over to her and repeatedly hit her with her hiking stick, cheering and applauding me. Been here before and had to leave the trail in pain. But today I will pass this sign, with courage. And instead of stopping, as he orders, I’m going to finish what I started: The Wicklow Way.

A few years ago I left Ireland to pursue a career in retail management in London. I ended up, like many of us, following a career that really didn’t interest me. Life is so fast-paced in London that you rarely get a chance to think, ‘Do I really want to be here to do this? ”

In truth, I didn’t want to be there, and it showed. I thought once I got a good paying job, designer handbags, ate in Michelin star restaurants, and spent money on clothes, I would be happy. My life was full of materialistic objects, but I was empty inside. I was also self-destructive and didn’t have a good relationship with myself at the time. Alcohol has become a way of distracting me from this. This led to aggressive verbal behavior towards my friends and boyfriend. Then the anger, frustration and sadness got too much. After another verbal outburst to my partner, I locked myself in my room, sat on the floor, and with a pair of scissors began to cut my arm.


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